January 2012
217 posts
December 2011
170 posts
Shhhhhhh ouch....
I woke up this morning hungover with sore thighs, rug burns on my knees and my ass hurts.
Totally worth it.
My kids.....
Are either going to the be coolest most chill kids ever.
Or their college funds are going to spent on therapy.
You fucker can't feel my pain...
No really…..bum ankle plus swingy hips squared by ghetto ass divided by sweatpants and sports bra.
Too many clothes. Too many friends. Not enough naked. With no prospects of fucking.
But that’s ok….Gloria Gaynor….I Will Survive just came on…..
Excuse me while I shake my ass.
What does a reasonable person do
After driving 22 hours straight and then taking a 3 hour nap?
I don’t know what a reasonable person would do.
I, however, am scrubbing and purging my fridge, freezer and pantry. Then I will disappear all the Christmas stuff and clean house. And do laundry and purge/organize the crap, oooops, I mean craft closet. And go to the grocery store and get the house ready for a New Years Eve...
home.....finally
No Sleep Till Brooklyn....ok idk where Brooklyn is...
I don’t know where msdeenyc and fancyglasses are in NYC/Bronx area so I’m just gonna wave ALL the way through so I don’t miss em.
In retrospect maybe I should brush up on my geography since I got lost 2 weeks ago…..while using my GPS.
Hey Y'all
It’s snowing in Pennsylvania.
Just an FYI.
1 tag
She helped me find it on Youtube!!! She was quick to tell me “That’s NOT the one Miss Lissa had.” redicupidity replied to your video: Heeeeeeeeeeeeey Lissa……….This is just for…
Did the munchkin sing to you?
1 tag
Can't always get what you want.....
When we arrived at my Rents house last Friday, I was counting the days until we could leave and go home.
Now that we are leaving tomorrow, to avoid potentially driving in the snow, I am sad that we are leaving and want to stay.
Do they make pills for this?
Wednesday Shuffle
Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark - If You Leave
The Eagles - The Sad Cafe
Travis Tritt - The Whiskey Ain’t Workin’
Sting - I’m So Happy I can’t Stop Crying is what showed on my iPhone screen but the song that actually played was Lifehouse - Hanging By a Moment…weird
Chris Brown - Kiss Kiss featuring T-Pain
Rupert Holmes - Escape (The Pina Colada Song)
Ray...
Everyone should have a Tracey
Tracey
tracey’s are the nicest people in the world…. some my think there kinda weird or a tad nuts but when you see past it you’ll see tracey’s are the best people to have around. they sing, they dance and they love. tracey’s are also very talkative, funny, cuddly, loveable and just all round fantastic people. I <3 TRACEYS, everyone should have one
Tracey
The...
Truthful Tuesday - Screw it all Edition
That’s about as honest and truthful as I can be…..
I am pretty much all set with every freakin thing. This year has been the worst year of my marriage ever. My husband was working all the time and stressed out and when he was home he was “working” or drinking with the boys. Our friendship suffered, our sex life suffered, our marriage isn’t as solid and good as it...
So Conflicted.....
I want Julio Jones to kick some butt tonight because he’s awesome and he played for University of Alabama and if I had a uterus, I would have his babies but I want NO Saints to win.
First World Problem.
My son slept on the air mattress in our bedroom last night. When he woke up this morning, he smiled at me and the first thing out of his mouth was “Good morning Mama, How did you sleep?” We were whispering so we didn’t disturb The Huz too much.
And then he said……
“Mama, I’m going to buy you the best birthday gift ever. I am going to take the hundred...
WatchInternets, meet my brother “The Golden Child.”
We have such a talented family. And I am Still laughing about this.
Nooooo you just had to defend your death...
Merry Christmas. Because nothing says holiday spirit, joyfulness and family togetherness like having to defend your choice of who would physically raise your children as well as who would be the fiscal trust officer (two separate entities)
Apparently my death is festive conversation for my family. And I make shitty life choices.
If Santa Clause loved me.....
He’d save me from Christmas.
Convo with the Huz driving back from Walmart
Me: ugh mmffff, feels like I have cramps but that’s not possible since I don’t have a uterus
Huz: …..
Me: I am so not into Christmas this year
Huz: …….
Me: Damn, I just got a case of the horny, real bad.
Huz: you went from cramps to bah humbug to Fuck me Santa. Fuck me Santa. you’re not gonna shit straight for a week.
Me: You know you are...
plumpfikshun said: Welcome to my neck of the woods! Staying, or passing through?
I’m home sugar!!!! Home for the Holidays!!! I just “stay” in New Hampshire……..I’m from
Alabama!!!!
There's a country song playing...the guy is...
“I want you to love me like my dog does.”
And all I can think is:::
Ok, whatever, but make sure you get creamy peanut butter. I don’t like chunky. Plus you don’t want me chewing with my mouth on your junk.
This is why I’m going to hell, right?
Random Thoughts.....this is what long car trips do...
•Why doesn’t NH go ahead and approve and do whatever it takes to extend the MBTA up to Nashua? It would help the rush hour situation plus it would be easier for ME to get in and out of Boston.
•Stick families on the back of cars where it’s clear Dad has been scraped off…..funny or sad? Both. Plus just because y’all aren’t married doesn’t mean he isn’t...
Its probably wrong to shove my dirty socks in The...
Please say no. Please say no. Please say no.
It is wrong, isn’t it? Dammit.
auntipax said: Spooky. I stayed there at that hotel when I moved up here. Good old troutville.
::: I waved at ya as I crossed the Tappan Zee…..I’ll moon ya on the way back or boob flash or wave!!!
elephantshoelots said: Holy fuck the snoring reference made me spit out my wine !! too funny and similiar to my husbit ;)
::::: I’m hoping for Ball Suck Vapor...
Who me?
Propped up on pillows in a Holiday Inn Express in Troutsville, VA next to The Huz who is snoring so hard I think he’s going to suck his balls into his asshole and cause a vapor lock, hopefully this stops the snoring and doesn’t asphyxiate him.
Drinking beer…..in bed as referenced above.
Watching the original The Cat In The Hat cartoon on ABC Family.
Like a damn boss.
...
Crossed the West Virginia state line...
And my radio immediately switched over to a country station.
I thinks it’s a state law or something, like the no texting while driving law…..
Tappan Zee Bridge
I always say it with a French accent…..so really is sounds more like “I’m tappin’ zee bridge” you know like tappin’/hittin’/fornicating the bridge giggidy giggidy
I know. I’m super mature.
Also, Hellllllloooooo New York, I’m all up in you now bitch.
Dear Husband,
You have a Bachelors Degree in Math, a Masters Degree in Electrical Engineering and a freakin PhD in physics. All those degrees means you are smart. So, let me ask you this. Why are you so eat up with the stupid sometimes???!!!
You know that our 9 year old son listens to every word you say. You are aware that he is a thinker. You are conscious of the fact that he worries about every little...
Have you ever had a day where you realize how...
Me.
Every. Damn. Day.
The quickest way to get me tipsy
Is two very strong house margaritas on an empty stomach. Apparently.
The Huz is laughing at/with me. He won’t let me take my pants off….”yet.” Something public indecency something something bullshit. What an asshole.
Wednesday Shuffle
Cypress Hill - Hand On The Pump
Scorpions - Winds of change
Young The Giant - Cough Syrup
Everlast - What It’s Like
Rob Zombie - Thunder Kiss ‘65
Sick Puppies - Odd One
Alice Cooper - You And Me
Peaches & Herb - Reunited
Firefall - Strange Way
Armand Van Helden - I Want Your Soul
Bonus Track: Wall of Voodoo - Mexican Radio
Anonymous asked: I think you're an incredibly sexy woman.
1 tag
Why thank ya!!! Roll Tide all the way!!! Headed back down to Alabama tomorrow!!!!!
auntipax replied to your photo: I’m not gonna lie. My hair…..is very fuckable…
So’s your shirt. :)
