Wicked Pissah Y'all
The only people you need in your life are those who need you in theirs.
Unknown (via jamesraven)
"Gordon spluttered. Thomas grinned."
  • As a parent, one of the hardest thing’s I have struggled with is controlling my 12 year old, perverted, dirty sense of humor.  The above quote is just one of the reasons.  I am kinda glad my kids have out grown Thomas The Tank.  I always had a difficulty controlling it with that show…..which happened to be BOTH kid’s favorite.
  • blah blah blah snow blah blah blah you’ve all heard it before but I am officially divorcing New England weather.  It’s all melted now….so we might be friends with bennies…..but only if it gets warmer and stays warmer.
  • I would LOVE to be a contestant on The Taste.  I love to cook….I guess I would consider it a hobby.  Actually, I would love to have a few of my favorite celebrity-chefs over to the house and cook for them in my kitchen and enjoy a glass of wine and conversation.  But I really really really would love be a contestant on The Taste.  I would choose Anthony’s team…….and I make great desserts even though they aren’t his favorite….so I have an in ;)
  • I forgot, well not actually forgot, I knew it was Early Release day today, but I lost track of time and it startled the shit out of me when TheBoyChild busted in the door early.  Good thing I had already taken care of my “sputtered and grinned.”
  • GCspeaks and I have discussed taking the kids to NYC during April vacation for a few days.  5 kids, 2 adults in NYC…..could be a total shit show……but an incredibly fun shit show.  If we do make the trip…….anybody wanna do some touristy kid shit with us???
  • I love my cat but I swear to gawd and everything holy…….the things that come out of his asshole…..are evil…..PURE EVIL.  He only eats dry cat food and water…..how the fuck does he produce the most noxious farts and shits ever.  Seriously,  the devil’s farts have to smell better.  And he cries….ALL THE TIME…..so loudly you can hear him 5 or 6 houses away……when he is INSIDE the house with all the doors and windows shut.  He really loves to get loud and crying at like 4 am.  And he pukes a lot.  Like, a lot lot.  When he kicks the bucket, I will never have another cat.  Because, cat shit does stink.
  • My cat is an asshole.
  • Spluttered.  Grinned.  Boobs.
Me, if I had a penis…..an actual attached, nondetachable penis.

Me, if I had a penis…..an actual attached, nondetachable penis.

It’s a wine from an inappropriate drinking vessel kind of night. 

But it’s ok because it’s Baccarat crystal…..that makes it fancy and shit.

It’s a wine from an inappropriate drinking vessel kind of night.

But it’s ok because it’s Baccarat crystal…..that makes it fancy and shit.

Gabby??????

Gabby??????

Truth……..

I have to go to the dentist today. And so do the kids.

The truth is I’d rather get vagina punched than go to the dentist.

If the kids didn’t have appointments I would cancel in a heartbeat.

My transformation into “one of those people” is nearly complete.

I’ve always made fun of the dorks with these stickers on their vehicles. Idk why I’m a dick I guess.

But the look on TheBoyChild’s face when he asked if I would put it on broke me down and the ridiculously enthusiastic look on his face when I said yes was the best thing ever.

So now I’m one of those dorks.

All I’m missing is a freakin stick figure family with some Disney ears and my transformation is complete.

Truth is, I will do anything to keep TheBoyChild and TheGirlChild happy……anything. And yes, he is wearing a Link hat….it’s his thing now.

2:38 am.

No bueno.

I call bull shit on this Monday already.

TheGirlChild is my junior chef in training today.

TheGirlChild is my junior chef in training today.

Not really feeling it but have to attend a surprise 50th bday party for one of TheHoodRats.

Not really feeling it but have to attend a surprise 50th bday party for one of TheHoodRats.

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