Me: Pause it. I have to pee and I don’t want to miss anything. I’m already hooked.
TheHuz: That’s because it’s got the hot black guy you loved from ER.
TH: ::::eye roll so strong I could hear it::::
Me: That’s not the reason.
TH: Yes, dear, whatever you say, dear.(I assume that’s what the look he gave me meant) Me: He was from House.
Off the the Philharmonic.
TheGirlChild’s artwork is being displayed. So very proud of my mini Picasso.
TheHuz and TheBoyChild are less than thrilled about their mandatory attendance and wearing ties.
Be warned…..I will probably be spamming your dash with proud mama pictures.
I kicked him in the nose.
He was trying to get into bed.
No sex was made in this kicking event.
I felt my big toe slip into his nostril.
And I haven’t laughed so hard in bed since the last time I had sex.
My bed head is on point this morning.
Yes, I know my tshirt has holes in it and I don’t even care because it’s my Varitek shirt.
You know those porn videos where it’s the tiniest, thinnest, most skinny, zero body fat, a slight breeze would blow her away virginal looking chicks……
Getting boned by the biggest, thickest, longest, most veiny, throbbing, gargantuan, apple in a baby hand, ridiculously large penis……
and you think holy monkey nuts…..he’s gonna break her into pieces. Destroy her. Demolish her.
And she just handles it like a champ, moans, pretends to enjoy it, whimpers and fakes it and takes it off the chin…..
That’s how “date night” started and finished.
At least there was a 30 second respite so I could take a pic.
Photointerruptus by GC’s finger comment on what was supposed to be date night but it got hijacked.
A surprise sweetness.
I fixed my hairs.
Now off to The Church of Consumerism for some retail therapy, followed by cocktail therapy.
Haha was going to type Happy Friday Fuckers and my phone corrected it to Gspot Friday Fuckers.
Smart phone indeed.
- I always sing the 5 dollar foot long song on whenever I type the Friday Five title and then I think……dayum son I could have some fun with 12 inches. Probably not all 12 inches at once but I would give it the ole collage try.
- My new “toy” shipped yesterday. I hope the desire to use it returns before it gets here.
- Totally going to do some shopping today. I need a new iPhone, my battery is shitting the bed and the touch screen is flakey as fuck. I need a new laptop, the battery shit the bed and it has to be plugged at all times and it over heats and it is mostly held together with duct tape. But I can only afford one or the other, actually, TheHuz gave me cash to buy one or the other for my early bday gift. Since I will be at the mall…..I might as well buy myself something pretty….maybe new sexy undies…or some pretty lingerie.
- I need to find a new hobby. This self flagellation that I’ve been doing isn’t working for me anymore.
- Ohhhhhhhhh I think I might go tan today. Tanned fat is better than pasty white fat. Right now I can’t go to the beach cause those damn green peace fuckers always try to “save” me and shit. Calm yo tits people. Not the kind with the lamps and such…..the spray kind. I would prefer the fake-n-bake but after already having skin cancer….I don’t want to push my luck.
I think this is the most ridiculous list that I have ever made but I have declared a hiatus on thoughts deeper than spray tan depth.